Funerals are severely emotional events teeming with grief, meditation, and remembrance. In these moments, the words we say deliver significant weight. Even with good intentions, some remarks can run into as insensitive, dismissive, or even offensive to those mourning a loved one. Whether you’re providing condolences to a family member, friend, or colleague, it’s important to speak with empathy and caution.

Here are four things you should never say at a funeral — and why avoiding them matters.

1. “They’re in a better place now.”
While this phrase is often meant to encouragement, it can unintentionally disprove the grief someone feels. Telling someone that their loved one is “in a better place” may seem like spiritual reassurance, but to someone still processing the loss, it might sound like you’re dismissing their pain or trying to rush their healing.

What to say instead:
“I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m here if you need anything.” Simple, honest words often mean the most.

2. “At least they lived a long life.”
Although age can be a factor in acceptance, no amount of time makes losing someone easy. Guessing that their long life somehow makes the d3ath easier can be hurtful. Grief doesn’t have an expiration date, and saying this might make the mourner feel guilty for feeling sadness, as if they should be more “thankful” than heartbroken.
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