In an attempt to restore faith (and sales), Hoffmann announced that Dunkin’ would be going back to its roots. “No more woke politics. Just good coffee, good donuts, and maybe—just maybe—one of those glazed croissant things that people seem to love.”

To drive home the point, Dunkin’ has already begun scrubbing its stores of any trace of the ill-fated campaign. The rainbow donut has quietly disappeared from menus, and the company’s social media accounts have been purged of any posts that could be construed as “woke.” Hoffmann even hinted at a new, decidedly apolitical mascot: a donut named “Dunkie” who “loves everyone equally, but doesn’t feel the need to tell you about it.”

The apology tour isn’t stopping at a press conference. Dunkin’ has promised a return to simpler times—when the only thing controversial about the brand was the occasional debate over whether or not the coffee was better than Starbucks.

“We’re just here to sell donuts,” Hoffmann reiterated at least six times during his speech, as if trying to convince not just the audience, but himself. “That’s all we ever wanted to do. We’re not here to get involved in politics or tell you what to believe. We just want to make sure your coffee is hot, your donuts are fresh, and your mornings are as sweet as a Boston Kreme.”

Customers, however, remain skeptical. Some die-hard fans of the brand have cautiously returned, but others are still holding their ground.

CONTINUE READING ON THE NEXT PAGE