ABC Removes Debate Moderators David Muir and Linsey Davis, Calling Them a “Disgrace to Their Profession” (Page 5 ) | September 21, 2024

“Who’s to say what’s true anymore, anyway?” the source said, shrugging. “Maybe Springfield really is a hotbed of pet-eating chaos. Who are we to judge?”

ABC executives are reportedly in talks with several new moderators to replace Muir and Davis—figures who understand the delicate art of nodding solemnly while facts fly out the window. Rumor has it that Fox News’s Sean Hannity and The View’s Joy Behar are both on the shortlist, a duo sure to bring balance and tact to the next debate. (Or, at the very least, ensure that no one learns anything new.)

Naturally, the internet had a field day with the news of Muir and Davis’s firing. #FireTheFactCheckers trended for hours after the announcement, with some users sarcastically praising ABC for “finally embracing the chaos.” One viral post read, “Honestly, I watch these debates for the entertainment value, not for boring facts. Kudos to ABC for keeping things spicy!”

Others, however, weren’t so thrilled. “ABC just fired two of the best journalists on television because they told the truth,” tweeted one user. “Is this where we are now?”

Even Elon Musk jumped into the conversation, posting, “ABC proves once again: reality is optional.”

While ABC execs might be patting themselves on the back for restoring “balance” to the debate stage, Muir and Davis are unlikely to disappear quietly into the night. Both journalists have built careers on integrity and fact-based reporting—qualities that, apparently, are no longer desirable in the world of televised politics.

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